The Day I'll Never Ever Forget

          It is Friday again. And I can remember the Friday in 6 weeks ago very well cause it had given me a deep and painful memory...

          19 August 2011... the day my father passed away and 19 October 2011 is my convocation day (this was also my grandma's death date). It is so ironic! They are in the same date and only two months difference! Sometimes, I will imagine the situation my dad attends to my convocation. How will it feels like if he can be there with me sharing my happiness and see her daughter graduates... I guess, he must be very happy but he will just standing there and acting cool though deep in his heart he feels comforted that her daughter has graduated. But now... all this will not going to happen and he will not have the chance to attend my convocation anymore! He will not see her daughter wearing graduate attire and be conferred with bachelor degree on the stage...

          3years ago, he was the one who sent me in to University. 3years later, he is not able to see me graduated from my University. I hated that he always get lost and wasted few hours time searching for the way back home after sending me back to university. I hated that I said I wanna show him the way back but he said he knew yet in fact he was not sure...

          Dad, can you hear me in heaven? Do you know that I am going to have my convocation ceremony soon? Your 3rd daughter, the one that always like to make you angry is going to graduate and she really hopes that you can see that glorious moment!

The Taste of Miss ~ Bitter

 

我从不知道，想念一个人真的可以让人的心这么的痛！

每一天，

看见的每一件事物，

做的每一样东西，

只要是和你有关联的，

都会让我想起你。

而讨厌的眼泪，

也会不由自主地脱眶而出。

Do you know how much I MISS YOU Dad...?

Do you know how much WE MISS YOU...?

If you do...

Please bless us good Health, Peace, Happiness and Joy...

We miss you Dad...

We miss you being around...

We miss your smile...

We miss seeing you and mummy together...

Daddy...I'll always love you...!!!

    不知不觉，爸爸已经去世了十一天。说真的，我到现在每晚都还会想着他。。。偶尔在工作时，也会无端端的想起他。说起爸爸，我想，之前的我，对他也只能有“抱怨”两个字吧！因为他的固执，他的坏脾气，还有他的大男人主义，我非常非常的生气他！老婆和家人说的话他不听，每次喜欢听信他猪朋狗友的话。经历了一次又一次的教训，他还是学不乖。。。他总爱惹我们生气，特别是对妈妈。这也是让我极度不爽他，甚至不想和他说话的原因。

  

    有时候我觉得，爸爸越老越固执，越小孩子脾气。。。因为他总会做出一些让你觉得又可恨又可笑的幼稚行为。我知道，一把年纪了要他马上改掉他的坏脾气是不可能的。。。但至少我们说了他就该听进去啊！他就是偏不听，偏要做给每个人生气他才甘愿！最后，每个人都懒得说，懒得理会他了。。。

    说实话，我每次都会羡慕其他人可以有一个很顾家，很负责任的爸爸。也羡慕他人可以跟爸爸那么的要好。。而我呢，跟爸爸却是越年长越无话可谈。要说是语言上的问题，并不完全是，因为虽不会华语，我们会用福建话，马来文和英文沟通，不至于到语言不通。

    今年的农历七月发生了很多不愉快的事情。先是芝芝的男友去世，过了四天到我爸过世。接着到Oprah的公公过世。两个星期接踵而来的丧事，真让我觉得好沮丧，好难过。。。 其实，在经历了潘潘过世那件事后，我深深地体会到珍惜身边你爱的人的可贵性！我也告诉自己，不要再跟爸爸赌气了，要和他好好的相处。

    8月18号晚上，也就是爸爸去世的前一晚，我和阿蓉陪芝芝到海边散心。我们聊到晚上11.30

左右才回家。我们聊了好多好多。。。平时的我回到家，看到爸爸坐在客厅，我会当作看不见，完全不会叫他一声。但那天晚上的我，出奇地叫了“爸”一声。。。那是爸爸最后一次听我叫他“爸”，也是我最后一次叫他“爸”了。。。

    我常想，要是爸爸出事的前一天早上我没跟朋友出去玩，晚上也能多陪陪他该有多好啊！我还记得那天晚上回到家，爸爸，妈妈，妹妹还有我还在中厅聊天。只不过我忙着读报纸，爸爸跟我说话我都没什么要理睬他。这是令我最痛恨自己的一点！！！

    另一件让我遗憾的是我没告诉爸爸我毕业典礼的时间。我一直想，如果我有告诉他，或许他会等到毕业典礼后才离开我们吧！爸爸总希望他的孩子个个都能大学毕业。之前，二姐的毕业典礼他没能参加，现在。。连我的毕业典礼他也不参加了！！！为什么他就是不能等呢？就算我没告诉他，他也应该懂我还有毕业典礼嘛！为什么就是不能等？！要他等很辛苦吗？就是那么不想参加我的毕业典礼吗？！ 我恨自己，真的真的非常恨我自己，因为我的固执，我对他的赌气 ，使他觉得我不再爱他了。。所以他才要离我而去。。永远永远地离我们而去。。。

    我还有很多很多事情没对他说，还有很多事情没对他做！我还没骂醒他，还没真正地跟他吵架过！我还没离家出走给他看过，还没让他知道没有我他会有多难过！！！

     爸爸过世的情景还一直在我脑海里。每到了星期四和星期五，我就会不禁的想起他。。眼泪也会不由自主地掉下来。。。经历了这件事后，我开始害怕。。每当我打电话给家人打不通时，我就会开始担心，害怕他们出了什么事。我真的害怕再有身边的人离我而去！

    爸，你对我们的关心与爱护我们是知道的。我们也知道你很疼，而且很爱很爱我们！虽然我经常生你的气，经常对你发脾气，甚至对你不理不睬，但这不代表我不爱你。你永远是我最敬爱的爸爸，我会永远爱你！爸，一路好走。。。

First Impressions Matter

          I went to HSBC Cyberjaya to collect my offer letter today. I reached 15 minutes early but after wait for around 30 minutes, my name still haven't called by the HR person. They asked my name and I told them I was the only one who applied for the Finance Department. Just after I told them this, one of the HR person  (Indian female) respond :" Oh..you are Albee!" I was so shocked after I heard that but I just answer her by knocking my head. Few questions crossed my mind and I was wondering...when have I told her my English name? How she knows about my name? 

          After I recalled my first interview, i realized that the HR person was the interviewer who interviewed me and I might have told her my English name during the time. Anyhow, I was still feeling sweet and happy that someone remember my name. There were around 40 people came for interview and it is hard to let your interviewer remember you, even your NAME! So, this somehow indicates that i managed to promote myself and create my first impression in the interviewer's mind. It is really something to be happy of...

         Although they have missed my offer letter and I have to wait for about one hour for them to re-prepare, but...it was still a Good Day for me!

Get rid of bad HABITS for a better tomorrow

Suddenly recall an interesting fact told by one of my admire lecturer (Dr. Serene) :-

When you cut off the initial ‘h’ from the word ‘habit’, ‘a bit’ persists. Knock off ‘a’ and the ‘bit’ remains. Knock off ‘b’, yet ‘it’ remains. Habit is like a web. We weave a thread of it every day and at last we are caught up in it to such an extent that we cannot break it.

I like this phrase so much because it reflects the real situation in our daily life. Therefore, let's us try our best to overcome all our bad habits so that we can hope for a better tomorrow...!!!